offthebeatenpath

Flying, Em discovered, hadn't lost any of its thrill in the year she'd gone without. It felt every bit as wonderful and natural as it had in Duninnean, only now there was a hint of anxiety too, that she might be seen. She'd flown a few times since Halloween and the new understanding of her powers, but only at night, and usually further out from the city center, over quiet neighborhoods or wooded areas where there would be fewer people to see.

Autumn nights in England weren't exactly warm at ground level, let alone in the air, but she'd found if she bundled up, the warmth of her real clothes was just as real no matter what the projection over herself appeared to wear. So she could enjoy her flights without being too cold on her way back to the squat. Tonight she 'wore' a long, white dress trimmed in gold that matched the golden angel wings lifting her into the sky. The wings were the strangest thing, mostly because they didn't feel strange at all, as much an extension of her thought as they would be on her Knight of Swords. She wanted to fly, so they beat and she flew.

The moon was just past full, making it all the more likely someone could see her, but Em wanted to clear her head, and flying worked even better than Askani meditations sometimes. She could soar on the wind, looking down over the city, heart-free and head-quiet, no distractions, and just be for awhile.

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"And yet, you keep on going, all of you," Anael stated, very fondly. "You deserve that gift."

"Most people who want me to read their fortune ask about work or love," she said, the seeming non sequitur following logically to her. "But the one thing I never ask the cards about for myself is love. I don't know whether that's because I don't want to know or I'm too afraid of misinterpreting and making things worse all around."

"Does it matter?" Anael asked gently. "You are free to do as you wish. It is up to you to seize the opportunities presented to you. Whether they might end up hurting other people, yourself, or both. That pain is a part of love, too."

"Sorry," she said, looking across to Dutch's window again. "I didn't mean to get into all this with you," or with anyone really. "I have this habit of over-thinking to protect myself from feeling too much."

"You've nothing to apologise for," Anael told her, and smiled over at her, squeezing her hand before letting it go. "I only wish you didn't feel love was something you ought to protect yourself from."

"Now I want to apologize for that too." Em couldn't not feel that way, but she could feel bad about it. Love could be dangerous. Maybe because she'd never figured out how to love anything less than completely. Or because she was usually drawn to people who were as broken as she was, or who couldn't possibly feel for her what she felt for them.

Anael smiled gently, and hazarded a guess. "Catholic upbringing?"

"From what I've seen, most religious upbringings come with an unhealthy connection to guilt that can last longer than the religion," she reflected. "But yes, in my case that's Catholic. It's been a long time since my last confession, though."

From what Anael had seen, Catholics were the worst, when it came to guilt, but he wasn't going to point it out. "Any particular reason?"

Em shrugged. "Years of convent school. I think I had enough religion. And... I still believe in something, but not in a way that would make me a good Catholic."

"Religions are ritualised ways for men to try and come closer to God," Anael answered, without any judgement in his voice, "but they're hardly the only way." And God certainly was something, and so much more beside.

"I still like some of the rituals." They were rituals, finding comfort in the familiarity was kind of the point. "And my cousin and I always attended Christmas midnight mass; it was one of our traditions.

"The guilt over every little thing is just me, though, I think."

"Not just you, trust me," Anael told her with a small smile, if a little sad. He did wish fewer people were affected by the emotion, at least when there was no good reason. Repentance over sin was, of course, to be encouraged, but guilt was something different. It burdened the soul.

Feeling it was time to move on to something less emotionally charged - or if not, at least different - Em looked down at her hands a moment. "Do you mind if I... uh," she shook her head. "Why are you here? If it's not too rude to ask. On Earth, I mean, around... people."

"Oh, I Love you all," Anael replied with a warm smile, clearly not minding the question one bit. "And I love it down here. I love people, and flying, and wine, and sex, and many more reasons to come here now and then."

Maybe that should have surprised her more, but Em had read stories of the nephilim, so it wasn't completely incomprehensible for an angel to love people or wine or even sex. And of course he'd love flying; it was amazing. "So you're, I don't know, visiting on your time off? To put it in very human terms."

"Yes," Anael confirmed with a smile, and a nod. "That's it exactly."

"I'd say there are probably better ways to relax, than providing a friendly ear and some guidance to screwed up girl, but..." Em laughed softly, "I've told fortunes for random people while I was traveling many times, so I don't really have room to judge."

"My time here isn't about relaxing, anyway," Anael answered with a soft smile. "It's more about... enjoying. And loving."

Em studied him a moment. "You're not like most angels, are you?" She might not have met any others - and no, Warren didn't count, no matter what people thought after the attack on the Vatican - but she couldn't picture them being so open.

"A few of us are more fond of this place than the others," Anael admitted with a bit of a bashful smile. Of this place, and of Men, but he would not say that much.

"I'm glad I keep running into you, then." Anael was easy to like, but from what she'd heard and read, angels were normally described as 'awesome', and that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"There are a few people I run into with some regularity," Anael admitted, his smile warming again. "I like to think that God makes certain our paths cross, again and again."

His wording made her smile, because crossing paths was how she usually thought of those things. "Tonight our paths were slightly higher than most people's would have been. That might make a difference."

"I could have gone flying anywhere," Anael remarked, "it didn't have to be London." And it hadn't factored into their previous encounters.

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